PRETTY TRAGEDY

As I breathe and cling to life I breathe ever so gently like a snail taking it’s time after a fresh rain. Clinging to life like hanging on a jungle vine with no where to fall is more than I can take. The blood in my veins rushes up to my head and I am confused.

Screaming to the world so someone can hear me I turn and put my arms over my head and cry, cry like rain hits during a hurricane. Clarity has yet to enter my mind because of the range of emotions that’s cluttered like cock roaches bunched up in a ghetto house in the bottoms. I don’t know why it’s me. I ask myself that over and over again. It plays out in my mind like a phenomenal movie script gone wrong.

No daddy no mommy to hear me cry to hear me laugh. I don’t know why it’s me. No connection to a soft voice who tells me “baby I love you.” No voice to tell me “you are daddies little girl.” No voice just utter silence and confusion. I can’t see me anywhere. I don’t belong. I am just I instead of “we.”

Torn completely in half of the destruction of two people who made bad choices and left me out in the cold with no one to hold me and love me. I don’t know why it’s me. As I try to clarify the madness in my head I try to breathe. Breathe to catch my breath because there is no one there for comfort me. As I struggle with all the pretty tragedies that plagued me I see nothing but a lost soul. My soul is empty, confused, mad, angry and lost. It has me in hell caught up like a hoe is with her pimp. I don’t know why it’s me.

Tragedies are mini life stories dying for someone like mommy or daddy to breathe air into what it could be. Dying to have closeness, love, and life is non existent. The mind plays tricks on you and creates something that isn’t there. I am breathing like a person on their death bed as they seep into their last moments and take their final breath. I need someone to help me, pick me up and save me! I breathe a fragile but tragic breath and I float like air. Falling softly I’m floating like a jellyfish in a place of all things beauty but tragic. As I leave I destruct like a volcano that spills hotness, madness and fire wanting and wishing for that someone…I breathe little breaths like fish blowing gentle bubbles in a sea of blackness.

Pretty, loveless, confusion, and falling into hell is me. Why it’s me I don’t know. Death is my portal and I am that one who enters it while falling softly into a pretty tragedy.



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